Instead of a staff, Gandalf will have a glitter guitar
Middle Earth with private jets.- A renowned Hollywood studio confirmed that it is already in negotiations with Taylor Swift and Sabrina Carpenter to star in a new adaptation of The Lord of the Rings.
According to what was announced, Swift would play Gandalf “the Glitter”, a sorceress who uses her power to fill football stadiums while Sauron’s eye focuses solely on her.
“His cane will be an electric guitar with rhinestones,” said a showrunner while putting on an invisibility cloak.
BRO 😭😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/uWpl8gj2h2
— ✩ CEL ✩ (@moonlithoax) November 8, 2025
Taylor Swift to play Gandalf the Shining Gray
For her part, Sabrina will personify the heir of the Baggins clan, who by whims of fate becomes the possessor of the One Ring and must take it back to Mordor, avoiding at all costs using the eagles for this purpose.
The talks would be so advanced that the studio would have already begun costume fittings; Hence, both artists have been seen characterized as the heroes of Middle Earth on their way to Mordor.
Although this remake would seek to respect the original story written by JRR Tolkien and made into a film by Peter Jackson, it was learned that it would include a scene where Gandalf-Swift shouts “You shall not shade me!” while launching a rain of glitter about the orcs.
Finally, it emerged that Bruno Mars could play one of the remaining hobbits, which would make the cast complete and ready to start filming the films.
Taylor is turned on by humiliating midgets, I have no doubts or lack of evidence: pic.twitter.com/g6sLtlGPc7
— Manuel Santiago (@Manuelz40584032) November 8, 2025
And because you can’t miss it: the government waived FIFA’s taxes for the 2026 World Cup.
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