To what extent does a hypochondriac want to get sick? Could it be that, deep down, it means: “I told you… yes I was sick, I wasn’t exaggerating”? That’s the energy I want to talk about today: the “I told you so” energy.
It is a way of living where we want one thing, but think another. And that contradiction can be present in many relationships in our lives.
It may seem like a compassionate attitude, but deep down it is aggressive, lacking and comparative. And where there is comparison, there is no love.
When we want to tell someone “I told you so,” we are actually hoping that they make mistakes, that things don’t work out, that they fail. It’s the same thing that happens when you end a relationship but deep down you don’t forgive. If you think about it… how happy would you be if that person did poorly?
I remember someone saying: “I don’t care if I go to his wedding or to his wake,” referring to
to a person who was supposedly indifferent to him. But that is not indifference. That’s unresolved pain. That is the energy of “I told you so”: an unconscious desire to validate our worth through the failure of another.
I’ve seen it in myself too. I once got invited to meetings I didn’t want to go to, but when they stopped inviting me… it bothered me. So what did he want? That they invite me not to go? It’s the same: I want something, but I feel something else.
That’s the trap. We are not aligned. And that wears out. Living with that energy is living waiting for the other to fail in order to be right. But I prefer to accompany you in your process, not boycott it. I prefer to tell you that if something went wrong, it was because of nothing… not because “I told you so.”
My name is Alejandro Granja-Peniche. And I write this to accept and share my process. Because understanding this energy is part of healing it. And if you have also lived from there, I want you to know that you are not alone. See you next Monday.