The aura of unemployment is very dense in the Riviera Maya
Tulum, vibes in crisis.– Tulum shamans, healers and spiritual guides reported a worrying drop in demand for energy cleansings, cocoa readings and chakra alignments, after tourists, both domestic and foreign, stopped visiting the once prestigious tourist destination.
“Before, a pure gringa from Los Angeles would arrive willing to pay three thousand pesos for an hour of incense; now they have even removed their likes from the Tulum pages they followed”confessed Luna Cósmica, vibrational therapist and former public accountant.
“I LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS”
Right now in Tulum (Quintana Roo) hotels, restaurants and travel agencies are BEGGING Mexicans to stay on vacation there, when just a few months ago they looked at them with contempt… especially the locals.
Tulum is… pic.twitter.com/dk06i39sVB— La Noticia Picante (@elchileronews) October 8, 2025
In Tulum they are spoiling the coco for the bathrooms
According to these quantum service providers, aura cleansing is down 80%, cocoa baths are going to waste in buckets, and no one is asking for the experience anymore. “Awaken your inner jaguar” because there are no longer jaguars in the cenotes… nor cenotes either.
“Now they are healing better with videos on YouTube and from South Padre Island”lamented Mayatl Stardancer, a shaman certified by the Holistic University of Kantunil.
Where is the “invisible hand of the market”? Here:
In Tulum, due to low demand, Airbnbs are becoming cheaper. The pricing system is what really regulates everything. pic.twitter.com/PpklwmdLS4
— Arturo Herrera (@RealArturoH) October 10, 2025
The most affected areas are those where there used to be lines to receive blessings with smoke and now only influencers are seen recording videos titled “My minimalist life after losing my job”.
Faced with the crisis, shamans have proposed new work modalities to adapt to the digital age, including energy cleansing via Zoom, rituals in Reels format and unlocking chakras with payment in cryptocurrencies, the latter with great potential to scam Swedes.
“If this continues, I’m going to have to give normal massages, the boring ones.”“, another healer concluded resignedly as he extinguished his incense with copal tears.
Important: Remember that El Deforma is a site of entertainment, humor and satire. The content in our notes should NOT be taken as a real source of information even if some elements of the note are part of reality. The only section where the content of the notes is 100% real is in “Incredible but True”.