In the world of celebrities, marriage breakups often make headlines, but what really happens behind the closed doors of a divorce is rarely known.
Jackie Combs, Family Law Specialist who advised model and actress Emily Ratajkowski during her 2022 split from Sebastian Bear-McClard, offered a direct look at the factors that, in her experience, determine the end of a relationship.
Contrary to popular belief, Infidelity is not the main cause of divorce. According to Combs, The most common reason behind separations is much more common: the lack of sustained communication between the parties.
“I think that is where the origin of many problems lies,” explained the lawyer. in an interview with CNBC Make It. With 8 years of experience and a client portfolio that includes entertainment figures and high-net-worth individuals, Combs states that The breakdown of a relationship is usually the result of small conflicts accumulated due to poor communication.
Communication: the invisible pillar of marriage
In his experience, The root of most disagreements does not come from an isolated event, but from the lack of constant dialogue on essential issues of coexistence. Combs assures that The first area where friction usually appears is financial.
“I have a very intimate relationship with my clients. As their legal advisor, I am in everyone’s privacy and in their bank accounts,” she commented.
Arguments about money often begin with seemingly trivial issues: a daily coffee bought outside the home, an unexpected expense, or differences in savings habits. But if these tensions are not addressed openly and empathetically, they can transform into a pattern of silent resentment that ends up eroding the relationship.
Beyond the money, Combs maintains that Communication problems also affect fundamental decisions, such as raising children, dividing domestic responsibilities or the time allocated to family life. Those disagreements, when not resolved, They generate an emotional distance that can be irreversible.
“If you can communicate, you can overcome any adversity,” the lawyer emphasized.
What the studies say: infidelity does not top the list
Various research supports Combs’ observation. A study cited by Journal of Family Issues, based on interviews with divorced people, concluded that 75% of participants indicated lack of commitment as the main reason for the end of your marriage, while 57.7% mentioned the frequent discussions.
Although infidelity is still an important factor, it appears in a significantly lower percentage than lack of communication or commitment. Furthermore, the researchers highlighted that many couples identified financial conflicts as a “symptom” of other underlying problems, such as mistrust or lack of empathy.
Other factors that can influence a breakup, although to a lesser extent, They include substance abuse, domestic violence, and differences in personal or religious values. However, they all tend to have a common denominator: the inability to maintain clear and respectful communication.
Divorce numbers in the United States
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC, for its acronym in English), In the United States, more than 2 million marriages are registered each year, and about 670,000 end in divorce.
The marriage rate is 6.1 per 1,000 inhabitants, while the divorce rate reaches 2.4 per 1,000. These figures show that a significant proportion of couples decide to dissolve their union at some point in their lives.
Besides, an analysis from the Pew Research Center revealed that 4 out of 10 divorces occur during the first 10 years of marriage. 16% occur before the fifth year and 24% between the ages of 5 and 9. However, the study also points to an interesting phenomenon: 22% of divorces happen after 25 years or more of cohabitation, which shows that even long-term relationships are not free from crises.
Communication, respect and emotional management
Although the causes of divorce may vary, most experts agree that communication is the lynchpin of marital stability. It is not just about talking, but about listening, negotiating and building agreements on the issues that generate tension.
Combs points out that many couples come to therapy or legal mediation too late, when the emotional distance is already deep. Instead, he recommends addressing disagreements from the beginning and treating financial or personal issues with transparency and empathy.
“Marriages do not fail from one day to the next,” he noted. “They wear out when people stop talking to each other, or worse, when they no longer listen to each other.”
Ultimately, a lack of communication can be more destructive than infidelity, because it undermines the basis of trust and emotional connection. And although divorces will continue to exist, understanding this factor could be the key to preventing many of them.
Keep reading:
* The 5 signs at a wedding that, according to an expert, anticipate a future divorce
* US states where couples seek the most information about their relationship crises
* Should I divorce or continue with my marriage? A mathematical equation helps you decide